Well it has been a long time since i’ve updated this blog but just like a venereal disease i’m back! And I am back with a bang! Well a slightly disappointing bang admittedly – more like a party popper than a cannon – but its still a bang nonetheless.
If your American you’ll probably know this film as The Ghost Writer. As I am not American and do not need everything to be spelt out for me I was able to deal with the slightly ambiguous title of The Ghost – I will freely admit a small part of me thought that I was about to watch a middle aged European version of The Sixth Sense. However, to my disappointment and relief I was treated (this might be a strong word) to a political thriller with its references clearly grounded in the murky water of contemporary international politics.
Ewan McGregor plays the imaginatively named Ghost – that’s not his real name we just never get told what his disappointing name is – who is charged with completing the memoirs of former British Prime Minister Adam Lang (Pierce Brosnan). The original Ghost writer has mysteriously been found washed up on the beach of the island that Lang is now inhabiting just outside New York. While the Ghost is there Lang is indicted for war crimes. This conveniently takes Lang out of the equation as he jets around America showing the world his innocence. This leaves the Ghost free to investigate Lang’s life as well as the death of his predecessor. What follows is a dramatic web of secrets and half truths that builds up a fatal finish.
Now before I go any further I will give you an idea of how I spent the two hours twenty minutes that I was stuck in the cinema. The first hour was so dull I felt like ripping out my eye balls and stuffing them in to my ears so I couldn’t see or hear how bad it was. It was after this low that the film descended into a hole so deep that even someone like Roman Polanski – who is used to pulling out of small holes – looked as if he would struggle to turn this crime to celluloid around. However, it is after this that the film became a completely different beast. It actually became entertaining, with all of the mind numbingly dull build making sense.
In a sense the biggest problem with the film is Ewan McGregor. Anyone who has watched Angels and Demons will struggle not to feel that Camerlengo Patrick Mckenna has been kidnapped from the Vatican and has been forced to put on an English accent that Dick Van Dyke would be proud of. He is dreadful. There is nothing positive to say about his performance other than the fact that finally Mary Poppins is no longer the film with the worst British accent in it. The worst bit is undoubtedly the relationship that builds between “The Ghost” and Ruth Lang. The build up to their brief affair is about as subtle as being stabbed by a 6ft 8 clown. And to be honest it is from this moment that even the stupidest person in the audience works out the remaining 82 minutes of fun.
It is worth mentioning the one small highlight; Pierce Brosnan. Although he’s hardly in the film he is the best thing in it by a country mile. Although you get Tony Blair references – something that is clear throughout the rest of the film – he does a good job of not falling into the pitfalls of playing a parody of a well known politician.
Overall if there is a choice between drinking bleach or watching this film, I would be tempted to pour a glass of Domestos. Although it is not the worst thing you’ll ever see, it is probably the most disappointing. If you haven’t guessed the plot twist by 20 minutes in then I suggest you go to Tesco, get a plastic bag (preferably without holes), pull it over your head, tie a knot at the bottom and wait until you can no longer breath – you don’t deserve to live for your crimes to stupidity.
2/10 – Dick Van Dyke would be proud
Tags: bag, cinema, demestos, dick van dyke, domestos, ewan mcgregor, film, film reviewer, film reviews, head, mary poppins, pierce brosnan, roman polanski, tesco, the ghost, the ghost writer, tony blair
